Funny House Rules for Guests

Hosting guests should be a fun experience and what better way to start things off than by introducing funny house rules for guests. Letting your sense of humor come through in your house rules will only add to the guest experience and allow you to have fun with your hosting duties. With this in mind, we’ve gathered up the funniest (and funnest) house rules for guests for your viewing pleasure. Whether you own and operate a bed and breakfast or host family and friends on occasion, there will certainly be some funny house rules for guests for everyone to enjoy. Pick and choose your favorites, or heck pick them all!

Cleanliness

Please remove your shoes and don’t take a better pair on your way out
If you have a complaint about the cleanliness, I can assure you I don’t care
Clean up after yourself. House elves don’t work here

Guest Behavior

No parties unless I’m invited
Don’t be rude, unless necessary
No fussin, no cussin, no backtalkin
If you are nice and polite I am more likely to say yes
Steal my heart not my phone
What happens here stays here…including damage to my property so please be respectful
A smoky house is an unhappy house. Keep the house happy
No finger painting with food
If you watch weird stuff on my complimentary Netflix account I’ll know

Bathroom

Wash. Brush. Always flush
If you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie
If you can’t get it with a flush, don’t be afraid to use the brush
If your doodies be cray, please use the spray

Check-out Time

Checkout time may be expedited at the owner’s discretion

Door Code

Only gatekeepers (aka residents of [INSERT NAME OF HOME) may give out the door code. If you have the door code, you are now a key master: keep it secret, keep it safe.

Meals

Dinner choices: take it or leave it
Cookies for breakfast are acceptable

Mom’s Rules

Nothing is really lost until mom can’t find it
Remember mom is the boss
Bedtime is negotiable

Hosts With Pets

The cat is not a musical instrument
They live here. You don’t
If you don’t want pet hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture
I like my pets a lot more than I like most people
To you they are just pets. To me they are adopted children who are short, furry and walk on four legs.

Rules For Adults

Anyone in this house may be naked at any time with no notice
If the butter leaves the kitchen, it may not be taken back into the kitchen

Cabin Rules

Wear bug spray…and deodorant
Make memories and smores

Beach House Rules

Let your cares drift away
Seas every opportunity
Adapt to changing tides
Surf life’s rough waves
Harbor strength and persevere
Don’t be shellfish
Bet on a shore thing

We Hope you’ve Enjoyed our Funny House Rules for Guests

For those of you who are of a more serious disposition, be sure to check out our (less funny) vacation home rules for guests.

Articles

Funny House Rules for Guests – The Best and Funniest!